my American Idol

Am I the only human on the planet that has not watched a full episode of American Idol? Isn't it pretty much the same thing as Star Search but with an asshole Brit as one of the judges? The half episode I caught was this Simon bloke being a complete dick to people that were actually doing a good job. I guess it's kinda like that woman Anne Robinson from The Weakest Link being such a bitch.... GoodBye!
What I really miss is The Gong Show. Boy how I would have liked to use a gong on this girl I was kinda seeing last month. There are few things on this blue earth that are worse than a bad singer, but one of those things is a bad singer who thinks she's good. She wasn't quite as bad as that retarded looking guy William Hung that has amassed some internet fame since getting unceremoniously booted from American Idol, but it wasn't far from it. What I would end up doing was kissing her shortly after she started singing, but mostly to make her stop the dreaful cacophony that was spewing from her vocal chords. ::shudders::